


Lion_Goddess has Subscribed at Platinum Tier

by phoenixyfriend



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Camboy Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Gen, Kuron & Shiro (Voltron) are Twins, M/M, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Other, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Romelle and Acxa are Keith's adopted sisters, Slow Burn, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mommy Allura, There's a lot of REFERENCES but nothing happens on-screen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2020-09-01 04:43:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20252389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixyfriend/pseuds/phoenixyfriend
Summary: Lance is a camboy. Allura has money and an internet connection. They meet in a lab and circle each other for months.Keith has a coffee job. Pidge has a freelance job. They meet in a cafe and go on a date that very weekend.Pidge has been crushing on Lance for a while. Lance hasn't noticed. She's trying to get over him.Keith and Allura have been friends since their uncles got married. He's maybe a little in love with her. It's not going anywhere.None of it is going anywhere, until suddenly,everythingis.





	1. Meet on Screen and in the Lab

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for Polyerosy. Didn't finish it due to a mixture of factors (loss of interest in the show and building up too much plot). Posting it anyway and hopefully I'll manage to finish it at some point.
> 
> WARNING: While there's a lot of stuff that's typical for the show, the amount of sexual references is _not._ As mentioned in the tags, this is a camboy AU. I will not have any explicit sexual content, but characters will mention bodily fluids, discuss porn, address sexual health and wellness, and there will be the aftermath and fade-to-black of some of Lance's shows. I hope to keep it all either tasteful or humorous (mostly the latter), but if you're not comfortable with a story that's fairly openly raunchy in tone, it may be time to turn your back.

Lance sighed, long and languid, dragging a hand from his collarbones down his chest, and ending with it splayed over one thigh, fingers just barely digging in. He opened his eyes, just a little, and smiled. “You had fun too, right?”

He waited for a moment, and when no answer came, smiled. “Thought so. Next week, same time? Bring a few friends, maybe; I’m _always_ looking to make the party a little bigger.”

He raised a hand, fingers curling into a coy wave, and bit his lip. “Bye~!”

_Click_.

“And we’re good,” Pidge said, and Lance collapsed back with a groan. Pidge looked over, one eyebrow climbing. “You okay?”

“Peachy,” Lance muttered, throwing an arm over his eyes. “I went too fast, didn’t stretch enough.”

“Ass or flexibility?” Pidge asked.

“Ass,” Lance groaned again. “Fuck, I’m gonna have to hide this when I go to class.”

Pidge winced. “Need some help?”

“Water?” Lance asked, peeking at her from under his arm. “That session lasted longer than I expected, I’m really thirsty.”

“Got it,” Pidge said, pushing away from the desk on the rolly chair and over to the minifridge. “Want me to go get the cream stuff?”

“I think I’m good,” Lance said. He caught the bottle that Pidge tossed him, opened it with a loud _snap_ of breaking plastic, and took a few long gulps. He wiped off his mouth with the back of one hand and took a deep breath. “So, how’re the numbers looking?”

“Pretty good,” Pidge said, rolling back over to her laptop. “Minor dip in viewing, _but_ we got a few new subscribers, so there’s actually a little more money rolling in. I think it might be because we kept it pretty vanilla this time.”

“Stick to the kinky shit, got it,” Lance said. He laughed when Pidge rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on! You said it yourself, vanilla made the numbers drop.”

“I said it _might_ have, and honestly, if even vanilla is hurting you, I’m not sure we should go back to kink next week,” Pidge said. Her fingers tapped against the chair arms. “Maybe something soft? Pet play, maybe. Something kinky that isn’t going involve further abusing that asshole of yours.”

“Aw, you do care,” Lance crooned. He started laughing when Pidge threw a wadded-up paper towel at him. “What, not one of the pillows?”

“If you think I’m throwing a pillow at you when you’re covered in your own semen, you’ve got the wrong girl,” Pidge sniffed. “I’m your tech gal, not your maid.”

“_I’m_ the one doing my own laundry, thank you very much,” Lance sniffed right back. “You get to keep your hands clean.”

“Unless you get some ‘bodily fluids’ on the camera again,” Pidge sniped.

“That was _one time_,” Lance protested, rolling over on the bed to swing his legs over the side. “Ugh, I’m all sticky. It’s gross. I should shower.”

“You should,” Pidge agreed. “I can smell it from here.”

Lance stuck out his tongue at her and got up, frowning down at himself. He poked at one leg. “Think I should start going to the gym more?”

“Nah, the subscribers _like_ you looking like a stretchy twink.”

_“Pidge.”_

“What?” Pidge asked, spinning a pen through her fingers and putting on a moue of innocent confusion. “I’m just telling you the truth.”

“Oh my god.”

“It’s in so many of the comments.”

“Oh my _god._”

“A few people are _very_ interested in seeing that flexibility again.”

“I’m going to take a shower and pretend you didn’t say that,” Lance said. “Help me strip the bed so I can start the Panda while I’m in there?”

“You could just call it a washing machine,” Pidge said, leaning over to untuck the foot of the bed without leaving her chair. “There, I helped.”

“My hero.”

“I try.”

o.o.o.o.o

> **Samurai1023**_ sent a post_  
Take a look at this one.  
It’s ridiculous.
> 
> **LionGoddess**  
QUIZNAK  
It’s funny.  
But also.  
Wow.
> 
> **Samurai1023  
**I know, right?
> 
> **LionGoddess**  
I didn’t know humans could bend that far.  
…can you?
> 
> **Samurai1023  
**I absolutely cannot bend that far.
> 
> **LionGoddess  
**Too bad. It would probably help in a fight.
> 
> **Samurai1023  
**Please don’t suggest that to my mom.
> 
> **LionGoddess  
**I promise I’m not going to tell your mother that you send me weird porn to laugh at and I thought it could be useful in a fight.
> 
> **Samurai1023  
**That isn’t anywhere near reassuring and you know it.
> 
> **LionGoddess  
**I live to please!

Hot _damn_.

Allura scrolled up and down the post that Keith had sent. It was very cinematic, black and white, lots of leather straps and lace and—

Allura could appreciate that sort of thing, even if it also had the misfortune of taking place in what was apparently silicone tentacle central.

There were… quite a few very rubbery, very fake-looking tentacles. Not acceptably fake, either, but in-your-face fake, in hot pink and flopping around like the entire _point_ was to make someone laugh hard enough to forget their arousal despite the actual actions on the screen.

Hm.

Yeah, this could go to the sideblog.

Allura bit her lip and scanned over the open tabs on her laptop.

Email, school email, blog, five or six tabs that she’d been meaning to get to for… anywhere from three weeks to three months, music, calendar, four tabs of internship applications, BlackBoard, and a research tab for that one math problem she still hadn’t managed to figure out.

Not an inspiring list.

Allura was very tempted to just switch back to tumblr and find more weird porn to send to Keith in hopes that he’d think it was as funny as she did. She knew that what she was supposed to be doing was her readings for the first day of the semester. It started tomorrow and she’d done plenty of the preparatory work, but there were still a few of those math problems to do, and one article on Porter’s Five Forces and SWOT analysis.

(Maybe double majoring in International Business and Quantum Physics _wasn’t _the best idea.)

Or she could just… look for more silly porn.

That was definitely an option.

Math and international business… or funny sex.

Allura stared at the research tab.

She opened a new one and typed in a cam site.

Shame was for more important things.

o.o.o.o.o

_Okay then_.

New favorite? New favorite. Definitely a new favorite.

Allura knew what she liked. Lithe was better than beefy, boys more often than girls, though not exclusively, a willingness to experiment, a playful demeanor and a minimum of consent play.

This guy had pretty much all of it in the bag.

It wasn’t _weird_ porn, just… camboy stuff. Kinky, but not to the degree that anyone would really find it egregious.

Sexy, definitely.

She was already a premium subscriber to the site itself, and she’d watched everything available for _SharpshootingBlue_. She had cash to burn.

She subscribed to his channel, just five bucks a month to start, and then went back to her math problem…

_Ha!_

No, she went and watched every other video on the site.

o.o.o.o.o

Keith fumbled with his keyring, trying to find the one that opened his parents’ door. With a muttered swear, he finally found the right one managed to get it unlocked.

“Hold the door,” Acxa reminded him.

He glanced back at her and the casserole dish she’d brought for tonight, and acknowledged that yes, it _would_ probably be a dick move for him to not hold the door open.

He pressed himself against it to let Acxa through into the small hallway, and Acxa immediately headed for the kitchen to put the heavy dish down, with a quiet ‘thanks’ as she passed him.

“Keith!”

The high-pitched squeal warned Keith before the tiny blonde mass slammed into him.

He coughed. “Okay. Hi, Romelle.”

“We thought you weren’t coming!”

“Why would you think that?” He asked. He managed to unwrap her arms from around his neck and started taking off his coat. “We promised we’d come.”

“Krolia said it’s snowing too hard for it to be safe.”

“Safety is a minor concern in the face of coming to see my family,” Acxa said, swooping in behind Romelle to give her a hug. “How’s my favorite little sister?”

“Only sister, and I’m nineteen, I’m not _little_,” Romelle protested, though she didn’t exactly fight the hug. “What did you bring this time?”

“Malai Kofta,” Acxa said. “Don’t know if it’s any good, but I followed the recipe, and it smells like what my grandmother used to make. I think it’ll be okay.”

“Can you go get Dad?” Keith asked, finally managing to wrestle his boots off.

“Is Mom home yet?” Acxa tacked on.

“Krolia’s still at work,” Romelle said. “But I can go get Tex, yeah!”

She raced off, socks sliding a little on the hardwood floors, and into another part of the house.

“She’s doing well,” Acxa said, her voice quiet. “Think she’ll be ready to move out soon?”

“What, so you can go live in sin with N—hey, knock it off!”

“Obnoxious brats get noogied,” Acxa informed him, not letting him go from the headlock. “Are you worried about your hair? It’s already a rats nest, don’t bother.”

“Acxa!”

She snickered and let him go…

Just in time for him to be bowled over by Kosmo.

“Hey boy,” Keith wheezed. “Acxa, I hate you.”

“I’m used to it,” she said. Keith couldn’t see her, given that his field of vision was currently occupied mostly by a very excited dog, but he could hear the smile in her voice. “Hi, Dad.”

“Come give your old man a hug,” Tex said. “Romelle, can you help Keith?”

“He seems fine to me.”

“Stop bullying your brother, Acxa.”

Romelle managed to pull Kosmo off, and Keith sat up, feeling like his entire face was covered by slobber.

“Want to go wash up?” Tex asked, rolling his chair a little closer and holding out a hand to help Keith get to his feet. “You’re looking a little… drowned.”

“Like that cat that Kosmo found in the pool a few years ago!” Romelle chimed in helpfully.

Keith gave her a sour look and headed for the bathroom.

He hoped Krolia would be home soon, and that Uncle Kolivan would be stopping by. He could use someone in his corner that wasn’t going to make fun of him.

Kosmo shoved his way into the bathroom and sat down next to Keith’s legs, whining softly as Keith finished washing up.

“Okay, boy,” Keith sighed, drying his face and dropping one hand to pet Kosmo. “Missed you too.”

o.o.o.o.o

“Shit!”

The shout startled Allura out of her thoughts, and she turned to the space between the tables to find a guy that had just eaten a face full of tile.

He pushed himself up slowly, groaning, and Allura scrambled down from her chair to help pick up loose papers, a calculator, a—was that an X-Wing keychain? Cute.

“Ow,” the guy groaned, rubbing at his nose. “That was… wow, that sucked.”

“Are you alright?” Allura asked. “That was a nasty spill.”

“I think so?” the guy said, finally turning to face Allura. Her heart nearly stopped. “Oh man, and in front of a cute girl, too! First day of class and I’m already making a fool of myself. So, uh, _hey_, the name’s Lance.”

Allura stared at him, and his bright grin fell. “Uh… is something wrong?”

_Shit, shit, shit_, okay she needed a-- “Your nose is bleeding.”

Lance’s eyes widened and he fumbled his recently-gathered things in an attempt to reach up to his nose and see if she was right. He ended up setting them down on the table Allura was at, and swore when his fingers came away from his face with red sticking to the skin and seeping into all the tiny cracks.

Allura wasn’t glad that he was bleeding, but at least it gave her an excuse for having been completely blindsided by his face.

His uncomfortably familiar face.

“Here, let me help,” Allura said, pulling out a pack of paper tissues and… hesitating. She pulled out a few and handed them over instead of going for his face with them directly, and then bit her lip as Lance dabbed at his nose and winced. “Do you need some help? I have a spare water bo-- no, don’t tilt your head back!”

Lance immediately dropped his head, eyes a little wide with what might have been fear. “Um, okay? Why, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do with nosebleeds?”

“No, it’s just an old wives’ tale,” Allura said. “You’re just redirecting the blood to your sinuses and throat instead of letting it out. You can end up swallowing it, and that’ll irritate your stomach. Just tilt it forward a little.”

“Oh, okay,” Lance said. He did as she’d said. “Think I can get past you to the other seat? Just, since my stuff’s already on the table and everything, so--”

“Of course!” Allura said, moving out of the way so he could get to the other chair. “Sorry about that.”

“Nah, it’s good,” Lance said. He sat down. “So, you doubling with pre-med or something?”

“What?” Allura asked, thoughts still on his _face_ and the fact that class started in a minute and a half. “Oh! Oh, no, I just did competitive martial arts for a number of years. Kempo. I, ah, I’ve had enough bloody noses myself.”

“Oh man, sweet!” Lance said, still dabbing at his nose. “So, I don’t think I got your name, and just calling you ‘the pretty girl with the cute accent in Modern Physics Lab’ is going to get weird.”

“Allura Altea,” she said, and held out a hand.

Lance grinned and shook it. “Well, it’s a _pleasure_ to meet you, Allura.”

Class started, they turned away from each other, and Allura’s heart finally calmed down.

Her tablemate for the lab, possibly for the entire _semester_, if the teacher was serious, was her favorite camboy.

Oh, by the ancients, this was going to be awkward.


	2. The Name of the Game is: Complain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has crushes and nobody's happy about it. Romance is a pain.
> 
> (This is a lie. Lance is perfectly okay with having a crush. Allura's mostly embarrassed. Pidge is dying. Keith isn't involved in this mess.)
> 
> (Yet.)
> 
> Unfortunately, Hunk has to listen to basically all of it.

Allura had already expected this class to be a little odd, since Coran was teaching. He was her surrogate uncle, her second father in all but name, her legal guardian, and now her physics professor.

It didn’t help that her tablemate, probably for a good portion of the semester, was a camboy she really, _really_ liked.

The cherry on top was… well, okay. She’d known the third part was going to happen.

It didn’t make it _less_ awkward when Lotor walked into the room.

“Uh… you know that guy?” Lance asked, leaning over to whisper.

Allura nodded. “Our parents were friends, so we were, too.”

“You look kinda… scared?”

“I’m not _scared_,” Allura said. “Just… uncomfortable. I had something of a crush on him. I don’t doubt he remembers.”

_“Ooooooh_,” Lance said, and then laughed. “That’s actually kind of funny, not gonna lie.”

Allura closed her eyes and scrunched up her face in an attempt to somehow get the emotions _out_ instead of keeping them in, and then gave up dropped her face into her arms. “I know. It’s still embarrassing.”

Lance laughed quietly, but didn’t say anything more as Coran started taking roll call.

Allura busied herself taking notes on the syllabus after it was done, trying to ignore Lance beside her and Lotor sitting bored at the teacher’s desk in the corner. First day of classes probably meant that TAs like him didn’t have much to do, she figured, but he still had to be here.

They finished the syllabus within the first half of the class, and then the second half was spent going over a handful of very basic exercises with levers and weights, just “something to get them in the groove,” according to Coran. Given that the syllabus had outlined that the rest of the semester was going to be spent in small groups building some personal projects with advanced concepts they’d learned in the last few semesters, the intent to test who worked best with whom was obvious. It was _more_ obvious once Lotor and Coran both got clipboards and started walking around the room, taking notes.

The students started with their tablemates, which meant that Allura got to work with Lance first. It was… fun.

Her hand touched Lance’s once, when she asked him to pass her one of the little weights. There weren’t any sparks, like in those trashy romance novels she’d snuck from her mother’s room when she was fourteen and still trying to figure herself out, but the spot held a phantom warmth for several minutes after, and she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Lance didn’t seem to notice. He just gave her a grin and tried to juggle the weights, promptly failing and forcing himself to scramble and grab the little metal cylinder before it rolled under someone else’s table.

She laughed at him, and he smiled sheepishly, and blushed, and offered her the weight without actually getting off the floor first. She instead pulled him to his feet, took the weight, and did her best to cleverly quip at him instead of making a fool of herself.

Then they switched partners, and Allura got to work with young woman called Ina who didn’t speak much, but had clever insights and suggestions on the occasions she did.

Class ended without incident.

After class, however, Coran called her name and asked her to stay a few minutes.

(That didn’t exactly go poorly, but Coran managed to make even ‘how is your first day of the semester going?’ embarrassing. Given the rest of the day, that wasn’t much of an achievement, but still.)

“Allura,” Lotor said as he passed her on the way out the door, with a slight nod. “Nice to see you again.”

“You too,” Allura said, waiting until he was gone before she relaxed.

Coran raised an eyebrow. “Still?”

“No! A little. I’m mostly over it, but it’s still _embarrassing_,” Allura muttered.

Coran hummed a little, twisting his mustache. “I’ll take your word for it. Now, if you don’t mind…”

Allura tensed.

Coran smiled. “Would you like to grab lunch before your next class? I know a lovely little Thai place a few blocks away.”

Allura relaxed. “Sure, Coran.”

o.o.o.o.o

The door slammed open.

_“Pidge!”_

Pidge screamed a little as she fell off of her bed, shocked out of her coding hyperfocus by the slamming door and shouting.

“Oh my god, dude, are you okay?”

“I landed on the beanbag,” Pidge managed. Her head had actually hit the floor, but her room was the one that had the supremely fluffy carpet, so that wasn’t actually a huge deal. The cushioning was superb. “Is my computer still on the bed?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Then I’m good,” Pidge said, leveraging herself to her feet. “Why are you screaming? Is something on fire?”

“Nothing’s on fire.”

Pidge squinted at him, and then nodded sharply. She hopped back up on her bed and crossed her ankles. “I’m going to assume you have a good reason for not knocking.”

“There’s a girl in my lab,” Lance said. His eyes were shining. Why were his eyes shining. “Oh my god, Pidge, I’m in _love.”_

Pidge looked down at where Lance had grabbed one of her hands, and then back up at his face. She lifted her free hand, and put her pointer finger on his nose. He went cross-eyed.

She pushed him away.

“Okay,” Pidge said. “Let’s try that again, without all the hyperbole and weirdness. What happened?”

“I sat next to a really cute girl in my lab and she’s got _amazing_ hair, and a really nice giggle, and she’s gotta be smart to be in that class, but she also knows some medical stuff? And she used to do _competitive martial arts_, isn’t that totally wicked?”

“Medical stuff?” Pidge asked. “How did that come up?”

“Oh, yeah, I tripped and got a nosebleed,” Lance said. He shook his head. “But that’s not important. Pidge, oh my god, you should have _seen_ her, I think she might be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”

“Hyperbole, Lance.”

Lance stuck his tongue out at her. “She’s so cool, Pidge. And pretty. And she rolled up her sleeves at one point and I think she could bench-press me without even trying.”

Pidge rolled her eyes, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. “Pretty sure it’s too soon to say you’re in love, Lance.”

“Okay but _still._”

“I’m glad you made a friend,” Pidge said. She sniffed and turned back to her computer. “But also I’m in the middle of a project that’s due by midnight, so I need to work on that. Maybe talk to Hunk?”

“Wait, you have a project _already?_ It’s the first day of classes!”

“Uh… this is… a paid project. Kind of.” Pidge paused. “You know how sometimes you don’t want to ask too many questions about the stuff I do?”

“…Yeah, okay, I’m going to Hunk’s.” Lance headed for the exit. “Please don’t break too many laws while I’m gone.”

“This isn’t illegal!” Pidge called after him. “It’s just cryptid stuff! And close my door when you leave the room, dammit!”

Lance skidded back in, grabbed the door handle, and once again left.

Pidge turned back to her computer.

o.o.o.o.o

It took less time than she’d implied to actually finish the project, at which point Pidge called her brother.

“I’m sorry, Lance _what?”_ Matt asked. The video quality wasn’t great, but it captured his ratty t-shirt and unbrushed hair well enough.

“He met a _girl_,” Pidge whined. “And he was _gushing_.”

“How bad?”

“Like, ‘most beautiful girl he’s ever met’ bad,” Pidge moaned. “Ugh!”

“Chill.”

“How can you just tell me to chill?” Pidge demanded. “My own brother!”

“Pidge, he’s known her for like. Two hours. That’s not exactly grounds for a relationship,” Matt said. “Or are you just thinking he’s gonna never shut up?”

“Argh!” Pidge let out a wordless yell and flopped back on her bed. “I hate everything!”

“Wait,” Matt said. She couldn’t see him from this angle, but she could _feel_ his teasing grin. “Oh my god, wait, is this because you still have a crush?”

“What do _you_ think?”

“Oh my god, I thought you got over him,” Matt groaned, but there was a laugh in there. “Do you need help? Do you need me to help you get a boyfriend? A girlfriend? A partner in general? Do you need me to convince Lance this girl isn’t worth it? I have no idea who she is, but—”

“No! I just need you to listen to me bitch for a few hours,” Pidge said. “Or at least a few minutes.”

“You’ve been crushing on Lance for _how long_, now?” Matt asked.

“Just let me vent. It’s your duty as an older brother.”

“I didn’t sign a contract.”

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatt.”

“Okay, fine. Engaging older brother mode. Tell me your woes.”

_“Finally.”_

“Wait, but after this, you need to let me complain at you about Shiro and Adam putting everything on the top shelf.”

“Didn’t you say you were hitting a growth spurt again now that you’re on T?”

_“They’re still really tall, Pidge.”_

o.o.o.o.o

Lance threw himself backwards on Hunk’s couch and shoved a pillow over his face, screaming.

“People sit on that,” Hunk told him. “It’s probably full of years of farts.”

Lance took the pillow off his face and frowned at it unsurely. “It’s a decorative throw pillow.”

“People still sit on it.”

“You’ve… you’ve definitely washed this before.”

“Washed the covers two weeks ago, and the pillows a month and a half ago. Still. Nothing can erase the shame of farts.”

Lance groaned and tucked the pillow under his head. “That’s gross. You’re gross.”

“You’re the guy who shoved his face into it,” Hunk pointed out. “I’ve got _brownies_ in the oven and you’re shoving your face into a fart pillow. There are much better options for shoving things into your face.”

“Can we please stop talking about the fart pillow,” Lance groaned. “I will gladly shove your brownies in my face if we stop talking about the fart pillow.”

Hunk considered this for a long moment, too long to be anything other than a joke, and then sighed. “Well, if we’ve gotta.”

“Thank _fuck_.”

“Gasp,” Hunk said, voice flat. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“I’m a sex worker, Hunk, my mouth says and does a _lot_ of things I don’t want my mom finding out about,” Lance retorted. “Also, did you just _say_ ‘gasp?’ Am I not even worth an actual shocked inhale? Am I limited to tragically bored mockeries?”

“Do you want a brownie or not?”

“I’ll be good,” Lance said. He waited a few seconds, and then he just had to talk. “Okay, so, there’s this girl in Advanced Physics Lab.”

“Oh no.”

“No, listen, shut up,” Lance rattled off. “She’s _awesome_.”

“Is this gonna be like Jenny Shaybon?”

“Hunk, dude, you have not _met_ this girl. She’s, like, okay, so she’s _gorgeous_, and she’s gotta be smart if she’s in that class, right? And she apparently used to do _competitive martial arts_, okay, that’s _awesome_, and she gave me advice on how to deal with my nosebleed—”

“Your _what? _Lance!”

“I tripped, it’s fine, it stopped bleeding pretty fast, we’re good,” Lance waved it off. “And she’s got this really cute laugh and I saw her blush because apparently she used to know the TA and there’s a whole _story_ there, and we got along really well when we did a lab together, and Hunk I am _so done for._”

Hunk came over to stand by Lance’s head and, after a second, patted him on the shoulder. “You’ve known her how long?”

“Just a two-hour lab,” Lance admitted. “But we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, and I don’t know if we’re going to be working together for the big project but I _really want to_.”

“Oh jeez,” Hunk muttered. “Well, did she seem into you?”

“I think so? She kind of ignored me for part of it, but when we were working together, she laughed at my bad jokes and stuff, so I think there’s a chance,” Lance said. He let his head drop again. “Hunk, do you believe in love at first sight?”

“I think I believe in you making bad jokes to cover up the fact that you just scared yourself about liking someone for real,” Hunk said.

“Hunk!”

“I’m not _wrong_,” Hunk pointed out. “If I asked you what color her eyes were, would you be able to answer?”

“Pretty sure they were blue?” Lance scratched the back of his head.

“…is there a reason you were paying that close attention?” Hunk asked. “Because most people don’t actually notice eye color that fast.”

“Stood out because her skin’s pretty dark,” Lance said. “So I think there are some extenuating circumstances here. I promise I wasn’t being creepy, it was just something that was more noticeable than usual.”

“Ooooooookay,” Hunk said. “So. Classmate in Physics, you’re rocking a massive crush after just one class, and you were paying lots and lots of attention to her, even when you probably should have been paying attention to the teacher. Am I right?”

“What? Psh, no, nuh-uh, I was _totally_ paying attention to the teacher and being a responsible student,” Lance affirmed. “Yep, Mr. Responsible, that’s me.”

Hunk was quiet for just long enough that Lance got uncomfortable.

“Okay, so I looked at her a few times, but I was _mostly_ paying attention, and I wasn’t being a creep about it, and it was just while we were going over the syllabus anyway.”

Hunk snorted. “Yeah, okay. Brownie?”

“Can I tell you about her hair?”

“You can tell me about her hair while you have a brownie.”

“Yes, sir!”

o.o.o.o.o

“Somehow I missed the patch where I can heal through walls,” Allura muttered, taking a sip of her soda and leaning back in her chair. “That was exhausting.”

“It’s what you get when you play healer,” Keith said, pushing away from the desk and spinning to join her at the other one. “Just do what I do.”

“Play McCree and then mimic the way he says ‘It’s High Noon’ so closely that the other team freaks out?” Allura asked.

Keith shrugged. “Hey, if it works…”

Allura jabbed him in the side with her elbow. “Half the time it _doesn’t_ because your voice cracks!”

“It works enough!”

“You’re insufferable.”

“I can _not_ be worse than some of the people you know,” Keith said. “You’ve met _Ezor_.”

“Ezor’s adorable,” Allura told him. “Also probably a criminal, but…”

“Oh, she is,” Keith said. “Acxa’s told me some _stories_ there.”

Allura blinked at him, and then shook her head. “Okay, then. Hey, I have a… question.”

Keith looked at her sideways.

“I need advice.”

“And you’re coming to _me?”_

Allura shrugged. “It’s not a situation I can really talk to anyone else about.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “O…kay?”

“I think,” Allura said, rolling the words around in her mind. “That I recognize one of my classmates. From porn. They do… camwork.”

“…oh.”

Allura shrugged. “I don’t think you’ve seen it, and I’m not going to show you, because that would probably count as outing someone as a sex worker? But the person is very sweet and cute, and I’m not sure how to approach the situation. Do I tell them?”

“Uh… no?” Keith said, scratching the back of his head. “At least, not yet? If you end up friends, maybe, but if you’re just working together on a project, it would make things weird.”

“That sounds… reasonable,” Allura said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “But…”

“But what?”

“It’s still _awkward,”_ Allura muttered.

Keith shrugged. “Yeah? That happens. Just imagine how much _more_ awkward it would be if you said something.”

Allura made a face.

“Yeah,” Keith said. “It’s like _that.”_

o.o.o.o.o.

“Hold still,” Allura said. “Need to get this right…”

Romelle tried not to fidget as Allura dabbed some more paint on her cheek.

“You look great!” Hunk called over, still fiddling with the camera. “Okay, how… how do I do the long exposure thing again?”

“I think it was on the instructions?” Allura said. “Romelle, hold _still.”_

“It’s _cold,”_ Romelle insisted. “And all wet.”

“I know,” Allura said. “But I can’t get the paint on right if you keep moving.”

“Got it!” Hunk said. “How close are you guys to being done?”

“Not very,” Allura mumbled. “Okay, let’s change this up. Get on the floor.”

“What?”

“Get on the floor,” Allura repeated firmly. “And lean against the bed. That way we can at least get rid of some of the movement. Hunk, do you have anything for her to fiddle with in her hands?”

“Uh, I think I have a fidget toy somewhere,” Hunk said. “Gimme a sec.”

Romelle pouted.

“Stop that,” Allura muttered. “Here, lift your chin a little, and—yes, like that.”

_Whirr-click._

“You two look adorable,” Hunk told them.

“Thanks,” Allura said absentmindedly. “Do you have the light thing?”

“Yeah,” Hunk said. “Right here.”

“Awesome,” Allura muttered quietly. “Okay, I think Romelle’s done.”

Hunk leaned over her shoulder so they could examine the makeup together. “Looks good. I like the cracked glass effect.”

“That’s most of it,” Allura said.

“It’s good, though.” Hunk shrugged. “Anyway, roof?”

“Roof,” Allura sighed.

The actual photography took half an hour or so, with Romelle backed by the stars and the distant city, light trailing about her from the lightbox that Allura waved around. They got a few different shots, wrapping Romelle in a thick coat between takes in deference to the February night chill.

They trooped back downstairs to Hunk’s apartment, and Romelle headed for the bathroom to clean up.

“I’m gonna make some soup,” Hunk decided. “She looks like she needs it.”

“Why did we think putting the freshman in the night air was a good idea?”

“Because she’s cute,” Hunk said. “You want some soup too?”

“Sure,” Allura said. “What kind?”

“…French onion?” Hunk suggested.

“Works for me,” Allura said. “So, while Romelle’s washing up, I have… a question.”

“…okay,” Hunk said, pausing in preparations for just a moment. “That’s worrying, but okay.”

Allura rolled her eyes. “I don’t ask you weird things, Hunk.”

“Sure.”

“Rude,” Allura said. “But anyway, Keith’s been asking about whether Romelle’s doing okay since I grabbed her for the project. Should I tell him he’s being overprotective or is this normal? I’ve never had siblings.”

“Depends on the details,” Hunk said. “If he’s just asking for if she’s okay, then that’s fine. If it’s more than that…”

“It’s not,” Allura said.

“Then it’s all fine,” Hunk said.

“Also,” Allura said, drawing out the ‘o’ as she thought. “Do you think Keith gives good advice?”

“On how to hide a body, sure,” Hunk said. “Other stuff, maybe not so much.”

Allura snorted. “On relationship stuff.”

“…maybe run it by me?” Hunk said.

“I think I recognize one of my classmates in another class as… well, as a sex worker,” Allura said. “And I like them quite a bit, but I’m not sure if I should mention that I know. Keith said that it would make things weird so I shouldn’t bring it up unless we become close enough friends that bringing it up would provide some form of relief that they don’t have to keep hiding something like that.”

“Sounds about right,” Hunk agreed. “I know a few sex workers. Most of them don’t really want to talk about that in like… professional contexts? If they have another job that isn’t related, or school, then they usually don’t want to bring it up there, definitely. Other than that, it would probably be a little anxiety-inducing that someone knows before they really trust you enough to have told you themselves. It would feel kind of like unintentional blackmail? So yeah, maybe don’t bring it up unless it’s actually relevant.”

“Okay,” Allura said. “Cool. I can do that.”

The door swung open.

“This stuff,” Romelle said, rubbing at her hair with a towel. “Is _impossible_ to get out.”

“Yeah,” Allura said, trying to infuse her tone with as much sympathy as possible. “Spirit gum can be like that.”

“How long did you say it would take?” Romelle asked.

“Well, since I’m worried the remover would damage your hair since you already have some trouble there…” Allura trailed off and winced. “It’s going to take at least a few more washings, sorry. Did you at least get all of the liquid latex out?”

“Mm-hm,” Romelle said, clambering up onto the stool next to Allura. “This feels _weird_. And gross. I don’t like it.”

Allura patted her on the back. “Sorry. At least you look really cool in photos?”

Romelle considered this. “Yeah. I do.”

o.o.o.o.o

**Hunk**  
Hey quick question  
Why do ALL of my friends come to me with their relationship problems

**Ryou**  
Kind of want to know what this is about kind of don’t  
I know it wasn’t me though  
I’m not burdening a child with that knowledge

**Hunk**  
Okay first of all no, I’m not a child  
Second of all: three people  
THREE PEOPLE  
THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE COME TO ME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING  
TWO OF THEM ABOUT THE SAME SITUATION

**Matt**  
Oh mood  
Pidge came to talk to me about some stuff the other night  
Wait did she talk to you too  
Is that why she isn’t in this chat

**Hunk**  
There’s only four people in this chat but she’s involved in the situation  
No more details at the moment on who’s involved and how but why  
Why me

**Takashi**  
You’re trustworthy?  
And honestly, Hunk. Don’t pretend you don’t love the drama.

**Matt  
**^^^^^

**Hunk**  
Shiro you’re fired  
Matt you too

**Ryou**  
He’s right though

**Hunk  
**Blocked


	3. One, Two, Three, Four: I Declare a Bidding War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doot doot doot doot; we all need that cha-ching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some references to this world's approach to how Lotor, Haggar, and Zarkon have impacted the people around them, much of it from Romelle's perspective. Tread with caution.

Allura doesn’t stop _watching_ Lance’s videos.

She feels a little guilty about it, but, well, he’s doing this as a job. He’s good at it. He knows what he’s doing and why and she really, _really_ likes watching him.

She boosts her subscriber level, leaves a little more every time, and ends up among the top five of his subscribers, and… well. He has a _lot_ of subscribers.

Allura claps a hand over her mouth and stifles a little moan when he reads off the list of top-tier subscribers that he’s thankful to and winks at the camera at the end of one session.

Oh no.

o.o.o.o.o

“Boom, guess who’s got cash to burn!” Pidge yelled, slamming open Hunk’s door and jumping forward to pump both fists in the air. “This bitch!”

Hunk stared at her, then down at the chart on the table and scattered rocks, and then back to Pidge. “Good for you?”

“You’re late,” Shay told her.

“Oh, yeah,” Pidge said. She stepped back, propping the door open with her foot, and grabbed something from the ground. She popped back up, tray in hand. “I brought coffee.”

“With the new cash?” Hunk asked.

“Hell yeah,” Pidge said.

“So, what illegal thing are you doing now?” Hunk asked.

“Nothing!” Pidge protested. “But Lance and I… that partnership we’re doing, we’ve gotten an… investor, recently.”

Hunk stared at her for a few minutes, and then facepalmed. “Okay, that was vague enough that you’re clearly avoiding the subject, and you can tell me after Shay leaves.”

“Okay,” Pidge said, plopping down next to Hunk. “Hi, Shay.”

“Hello, Pidge,” Shay said, with an amused smile. Her earrings swung in the light as she leaned a little across the table. “Are you well, other than the money?”

Pidge shrugged. “Could be worse. Thanks for helping out, by the way.”

“It is no problem,” Shay said. “Hunk said that you could use a more experienced set of eyes.”

“And nobody knows rocks like you do,” Pidge finished cheerily. “I guess if you ever need help with a programming class, poke me.”

“I will do so,” Shay said. “But right now, the charts. I am here to help, not to do the work for you.”

“…yeah,” Pidge said. “Hunk, pass ‘em over.”

o.o.o.o.o

“These look great,” Acxa said, sifting through the high-gloss photos that Romelle had brought home. “I like this one, with the pink.”

“Me too,” Romelle said, leaning over to take another look at it. “Allura’s really good at makeup.”

“You had fun working with them, then?” Keith asked, setting down the one he’d been looking at.

“Of course!” Romelle said. “And I know you told Allura to look after me.”

“I didn’t—I mean—” Keith shook his head. “She decided to have you join her group herself. I just asked if you were okay.”

Romelle eyed him doubtfully, and then shrugged. “Okay.”

“I’m serious!”

“Stop digging that hole, Keith,” Acxa said, smiling a little when he groaned and fell back against the wall. Kosmo took this as an opportunity to wriggle his way into Keith’s lap. Keith accepted this and started petting.

“Soooooooo,” Romelle said, falling against Acxa’s side. “How’s things with Narti?”

“Good,” Acxa said. “Lotor and Ryou are… also well.”

Romelle made a face.

“Lotor’s a dick,” Keith called over. Romelle nodded sharply.

Acxa sighed. “I know you don’t like him, but you _do_ remember that most of that was his father’s doing?”

Romelle turned her face into Acxa’s shoulder.

“He could have told you earlier,” Keith muttered.

“He’d only just gotten out of the program, Keith,” Acxa reminded him. “He _couldn’t_ tell me while he was in Witness Protection; whistleblowing on his father netted him too many enemies. You know this.”

“Still,” Keith said.

“He was working up to it,” Acxa said quietly. “It just… happened at a poor time.”

Romelle sniffled.

“Shit,” Keith whispered, launching himself across the room to sandwich Romelle between himself and Acxa. “Hey, it’s okay, we’re here.”

“I want to be angry at him,” Romelle whispered. “But Acxa’s in love with him and he’s not even _that_ much of an asshole. He even tried to get all of us holiday presents. He _researched_ for them.”

“Yeah,” Keith said. “But the way your parents died, and what happened to your brother, you’re allowed to be angry.”

“He makes it _hard_,” Romelle spat. “He’s all… nice and stuff. And he freaked out when he found out who my parents were, and I just… I want to keep being angry and he’s making it so _hard.”_

“Find someone else to be angry at?” Keith offered helplessly.

“He’s the only one that’s actually _here.”_

Keith slipped his fingers into Romelle’s hand and squeezed.

Acxa looked incredibly uncomfortable.

(That was probably fair. She’d been dating Lotor for almost a year when she first brought him home, just barely a few months shorter than Narti. Things were serious, had been for ages, and then… well.)

(He’d actually been a whistleblower. He’d been the one that reported the massive OSHA violations that his mother had been allowing, violations that had led to radiation poisoning in so many of her employees, including Romelle’s parents and, as her mother had been pregnant for part of her time at Galra industries, her little brother Bandor as well.)

(Romelle had _years_ of memories of her parents and brother getting inexplicably ill, getting cancers and wasting away while Romelle herself was fine, and it had left a mark.)

(Lotor was the reason that wasn’t happening to anyone else, but he’d apparently known for years before he’d reported it. He’d only done so five years ago, after getting away from his parents for college and finally being far enough away from his father’s influence to actually take the step and blow it all open.)

(Keith knew this. Romelle knew this. Lotor had told them everything after the disastrous dinner where Romelle’s story had sent him panicking into another room.)

(That didn’t make it any easier.)

“Tell me about him,” Romelle finally said, after a pregnant silence.

“What?” Acxa asked.

“Maybe if you tell me more about him being nice and stuff, my brain will shut up,” Romelle said.

“Oh,” Acxa said. “Alright, then.”

She paused, and then said, “Did I tell you what they all did for my birthday?”

“You said laser tag,” Romelle said. “And pizza after? Not a lot of details, though.”

“Right,” Acxa said. “Lotor organized it, for the record. We did that part while Narti was in class so she wouldn’t have to sit out for safety while we had fun. And then pizza with all four of us, and then we went to this bar Ryou found that had live jazz music.”

She had a soft smile on her face, staring at a spot on the floor.

“Did you win?” Keith asked.

Acxa grinned at him, sharklike. “Absolutely. Those boys can’t shoot worth a damn.”

“Can they shoot better than Keith?” Romelle asked.

“Hey!”

“Well, they’re not _that_ bad…”

_“Hey!”_

The girls snickered while Keith fumed, and he gave up on fighting it. After some more silence, he said, “At least they aren’t almost getting you arrested like Ezor and Zethrid.”

Acxa groaned this time, and Romelle giggled.

“Listen…” Acxa said.

“I’m listening,” Keith prompted.

Acxa wrinkled her nose at him. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

“Yeah, I am.”

She reached over to flick him in the shoulder. “You’re one to talk, after what happened when we were still living in Arizona.”

“What happened?” Romelle piped up.

“No,” Keith said. “No, you’re not getting this story.”

“I’ve been part of the family for four years,” Romelle protested. “I deserve to know if you’ve been arrested before!”

“It was for a dumb reason!” Keith said. “You don’t need to know about it!”

“I do!” Romelle insisted.

“Ezor tried to convince me to help her rob someone last week,” Acxa interrupted.

“…you said no, right?”

“Yes, Keith. I said no. She laughed at me for it and called me a goody two-shoes.”

“…did you tell the cops?”

“Absolutely not, I know the kinds of people she targets and I’m not going to stop her.”

o.o.o.o.o

“Here, I’ll get it,” Allura said, slipping her arms under the large steel tube and lifting it with what she hoped look like minimal effort. It was actually quite a lot of effort, but the looks she was getting from her teammates were priceless.

“Holy shit,” James Griffin whispered. Then he seemed to remember himself and scrambled to start screwing in the parts they needed to add.

“Oh my god,” Lance squeaked, staring at her with wide eyes and a blush to rival the one he’d had when she told him his hair looked nice.

“I only make it _look_ easy,” Allura said. “Please hurry.”

“Right!” Lance said, scrambling to help James.

“You are much stronger than your frame suggests,” Ina observed. “People twice your size would have trouble with that.”

“I know,” Allura said, with what she knew was a smug grin.

“It is very impressive,” Ina decided.

The boys finished up, and Allura lowered the tube to the table. She shook out her arms and flexed her fingers, and caught sight of Lance staring at her.

“Something wrong?” Allura asked.

“That was _amazing_,” Lance gushed. “Oh man, I knew you were strong, like, those are some awesome biceps, but I didn’t expect _that!”_

“Oh,” Allura said. She looked away and tucked her hair behind one ear. “That’s very flattering, thank you.”

Was it hot in here? It was hot in here.

“Seriously,” Lance said. “Amazing.”

Allura looked up and flashed a grin at him. “I could probably bench more than you.”

“You definitely could.”

“I could probably bench _you.”_

Lance’s face twitched, going red. “Um, uh, yeah. Yeah, you probably could.”

Allura fished for some words to say something back, and failed. The awkwardness grew, and she dropped her gaze again after Lance obviously attempted to say something, and failed just as much as Allura did.

James coughed, drawing their attention. He held up a soldering iron. “Shall we?”

Ina took it out of his hand and moved forward before Allura or Lance could respond.

“Ina!”

Allura studiously avoided Lance’s face, and felt rather a lot like he was doing the same right back.

o.o.o.o.o

“Pidge, Pidge, Pidge,” Lance said, sliding into their shared room with a massive grin. “Pidge, she _smiled_ at me!”

Pidge stared at him. “Uh. That Allura chick?”

“Yes!” Lance said, jumping on the spot. “And okay, she smiles a lot, but this time she said ‘It’s nice to see you looking well,’ and it sounds so dumb when I say it but Pidge I _swear_ she was flirting with me.”

“Do you maybe want to take a seat?” Pidge asked, and Lance threw himself on the bed. “Okay, walk me through it. What happened?”

“So we had to get the big pipe up at this weird angle to screw it in properly, right? And I thought that maybe Griffin and I were going to have to lift together, or stack up a bunch of books to hold it in place, but Pidge, she just. Allura just _lifted_ it and held it up like it was _nothing.”_

“Are you okay?”

“No,” Lance said, with zero hesitation or shame. “She was so badass.”

Pidge shook her head. “Okay, so, you’re being a useless bisexual bottom—”

“Hey—”

“And she… smiled then?”

“Well, _obviously, _I complimented her on it!” Lance said. “I told her she was awesome, and then she said thank you and smiled at me and joked that she could lift more than me, and then joked that she could bench me, like, using me as a person as her dumbbell or whatever, and…”

Pidge waited as Lance trailed off, staring at the wall, a growing blush in his cheeks.

She snorted. “You almost went subspace in—”

_“Listen!”_

“I’m listening,” Pidge said flatly. To really sell the bit, she grabbed a potato chip and tossed it into her mouth, trying to make the crunch as loud as she could. “So, middle of class, you go gaga over some girl talking about how she could totally dom you—”

“That is _not_ what I said, or what she said, and—”

“Yeah, but it’s where your brain went, isn’t it?” Pidge asked.

Lance grabbed Pidge’s pillow and pressed it over his face, screaming.

“Nice going,” Pidge snorted.

“You’re a jackass!” Lance yelled.

“I’m a jackass that happens to be your best friend,” Pidge reminded him.

“Hunk.”

“One of your best friends,” Pidge amended. “Also your roommate and business partner.”

Lance lifted the pillow, pouting at her.

“You know I’m right,” Pidge said, rolling her eyes. “Now, do you want to hear my news or keep being… yourself.”

“Why do you want to hurt me like this.”

“Because I know you,” Pidge deadpanned. “So, news or not?”

Lance sighed dramatically and tucked the pillow back under his head. “Let’s hear it.”

“So that spike in donations? It’s been almost all one person,” Pidge said, jabbing a thumb at the computer. “I’ve been looking over the list. Remember _Lion_Goddess?”_

“That one really big subscription a few weeks ago?” Lance asked.

“Yeah, that one. They’ve been basically 90% of the jump, _and_ they’ve been steadily increasing, too, not just one time to access content and then backing off again,” Pidge said. “And no interactions other than the donations, too.”

“Okay?” Lance said. “So, we have to be on guard in case they suddenly leave, because we’ll be back to baseline again, can’t get used to it or expect it forever, because it’s all based on one person.”

“Well… yeah,” Pidge said, wincing. “But I’m also a little worried that this might end up being someone really… entitled?”

Lance gestured for her to continue.

“Well, if someone has this much cash to burn, then they might… not be entirely reasonable? Like,” Pidge paused and gestured vaguely. “You know. Making requests and trying to justify it because they’re donating the most money?”

Lance hummed a little. “Any sign of that so far?”

Pidge shook her head. “No, but I’m still worrying. It’s happened to other people.”

“By this user?!” Lance yelped.

“No!” Pidge said. “No, no, definitely not by this person, I checked. And we’re behind enough bounced signals that nobody can find out where we are just by tracing the signal or something, but… you know. Paranoia. I don’t want to ruin your life because we weren’t careful enough.”

Lance bit his lip and stared at the ceiling. “Hm… okay. What if we establish actual rewards for highest donations, so there’s a set expectation instead of wiggle room, and… maybe a bidding war next time? So we can drive up donations across the board instead of just from _Lion_Goddess_, and don’t have to worry as much about the income boost being mostly dependent on a single person?”

Pidge made an unsure noise, well aware of how it must have looked, and then relented. “Yeah, probably the best option. I don’t want to lose that income stream, but making them one of many instead of the sole high donator is probably a good step.”

“And it nets us more money by pitting people’s jealousy against them,” Lance pointed out.

Pidge snorted. “That too.”

o.o.o.o.o

_“Alright viewers,”_ Lance purred at the camera, sitting back on the bed with his legs crossed, propped up by locked elbows and smirking as coyly as he could. The entire vibe was so different from class that Allura almost didn’t recognize him. _“We’ve noticed that we’ve had some _very_ active subscribers recently, and one person has been consistently leading the pack… So today, we’re going to play a little game, hm?”_

He looked past the camera for a moment, head tilted, and then laughed. _“No, no, DeeDee47, I’m not using the royal we for the role. I have an assistant. They’re behind the camera, and staying there. As for the rest of you, asking about the game… well, here’s how it works. My friend there is going to pop up a list of special awards if you donate a certain amount. Whoever donates the most overall today gets to pick three from a list of available kinks at the end of the session for what I’ll do next time. We’ve also got some fun, fun new options for highest tier subscribers, so _do_ take a moment to check those out, hm?”_

Allura felt her mouth go dry. A bidding war. There was basically about to be an online bidding war to decide what Lance would do next time he had a show.

_“Now…”_ Lance drawled, tossing his head, uncrossing his legs, and recrossing them. He grinned. _“The current highest subscriber is Lion_Goddess. If you’ll just provide a nickname in the chat, I’ll be sure to call that out as I perform, okay? And if someone overtakes you, well… time for a new nickname, yeah?”_

Oh.

Oh, by the Ancients.

He was going to…

She’d…

Allura dashed for the chatbox.

o.o.o.o.o

Allura won the bidding war.


	4. Anarchist Coffee Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't even realize I hadn't posted this until I started back in on Chapter Five today. It's been finished for months.

A lot of Pidge’s independent work as a programmer was… questionably legal. She skirted the edges of the law, never _quite_ doing so much that she’d get arrested, but not exactly being the kind of innocent person people thought she was in the physical world. It helped that, by the power of extensive rerouting of signals, she was more than competent enough to hide her traces from anyone short of… the feds, really.

And when she sent them so many pretty tips on people’s outright illegal activities, the really nasty kind that were advertised on the dark web, well, she got even the more questionable activities brushed over. She wasn’t, like, a professional informant? Mostly? She didn’t get paid, usually, but it wasn’t like she was going to keep silent when she stumbled across something horrifying, and she certainly didn’t have the resources to handle it herself, so she just… passed the information along.

If that information ended up with Dad’s old military friends, the kind that were gruff and grumpy but actually really cared and were somehow good people despite their jobs, then that was great.

(Pidge’s opinion on the military as a whole was mixed, and for good reason.)

(Still, Iverson was a surprisingly chill dude, and the first time she’d panicked and told Matt she’d found something horrifying while trying to figure out the deep parts of the internet at fifteen, the information had gone to Iverson and he’d _done_ something about it, so she just… stuck with that plan.)

(Find something that was illegal for a damn good reason, send a tip to Iverson, let him sort it out, and in return he’d be on her side if she ever needed it, probably.)

(She’d already used this, once. Someone had found out that she’d been the one to hunt down evidence that got a senator arrested three years ago, and put out a hit on her.)

(That hadn’t ended well for them, all things considered.)

Mostly she just hung out on alien-hunter sites, though.

This was especially true when she was in public.

**_PGunderson:_**_ Nah, that one actually _was_ military testing._

** _QueenoftheInsects:_ ** _ Military contacts again?_

** _PGunderson:_ ** _ lmao technically?  
My brother was at the testing grounds for a grad project when it happened  
They let him watch the missiles take off because he’s a giant nerd  
So unfortunately I can confirm that the coverup story is actually the true one_

** _RegretRising:_ ** _ How do you know your brother wasn’t bribed into lying. Or threatened._

** _PGunderson:_ ** _ I wish there was a non-creepy way to say that we make each other wear wires and regularly hack each other’s phones to spy but there isn’t so like. Whoops._

** _QueenoftheInsects:_ ** _ That doesn’t sound legal_

** _PGunderson: _ ** _I am not the kind of person who cares, friend._

Yeah, okay, so a coffee shop wasn’t the best place to do anything if she was hoping for privacy, but this was really just cryptid fansite message boards and forums, and she had a VPN and her own encryption going on, so it wasn’t really _that_ much of a risk, and she got good coffee!

Someone settled into the seat beside her, and she glanced over to make sure that her bag wasn’t digging into their space, and then went back to convincing RegRis and Insects that spying on your siblings was completely normal if it was an arrangement-slash-competition that both parties had agreed to ahead of time.

About two hours later, a finger tapped her shoulder.

Pidge jumped, then pulled her headphones off and looked to her right. “Huh?”

“Hey,” the guy said. “Sorry, do you need the outlet? My computer’s running low. I can move if you still need it.”

Pidge blinked. “Oh! Oh, yeah, okay. Sure, sorry, I’ve been charging for like two hours, I’m good.”

“Figured,” the guy said, leaning over awkwardly to unplug Pidge’s charger and plug his own. “But I had this laptop once where the battery just stopped working, so it shut down if you unplugged it.”

Pidge winced. “Yikes.”

“Yeah,” the guy said. “It was a bad time.”

Pidge nodded awkwardly, trying not to meet his eyes as the conversation petered out, and her eyes landed on his bag.

“Is that Ukyo?” she blurted out.

The guy looked surprised at her, and then glanced down at the cheery figure with the giant spatula, as if to confirm it was actually there. He looked back up at Pidge with a surprised smile. “Yeah, actually. You’re the first person to notice since I got her.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever even _seen_ Ranma merch,” Pidge admitted. “Then again, I was too young to really look when I was super into it, and I’ve gotten into other stuff since then…”

“My sister got her for me,” he said. “We used to watch the show together, and she was… I think she was working a convention table as part of an internship? Yeah, that was it. She walked around on her break to find some stuff for me and my other sister, and one of the tables still had Ukyo in stock, so…”

“Okay,” Pidge said, pointing at him. “Before we keep talking: thoughts on Rumiko Takahashi’s approach to queer stuff?”

“Unintentionally helpful to trans and nonbinary and questioning kids? But at least one arc was explicitly homophobic,” the guy said. “I know I’ve met a few people who realized they weren’t cis because of the show.”

Pidge held up a hand and solemnly said, “Dude. High five.”

He stared at her hand dubiously, and then shrugged and tapped his palm to hers. She grinned.

“I’m Pidge.”

“Keith,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”

“So, favorite character?” Pidge prodded.

“Is it dumb to say Ranma?” Keith asked, rubbing at the back of his head.

“Nah,” Pidge said.

“Also the cat café group,” Keith added.

“I love them!” Pidge said, grinning wide. “Shampoo’s just… okay she’s not the best person, but I love the cat curse, and her grandma’s a badass.”

“Is _anyone_ in the show actually a good pers—wait, no, Kasumi.”

Pidge snickered. “And, uh, Ryoga’s girlfriend?”

“Akari?” Keith asked. “Hm… I can see it, but she was a little blunt and obsessive.”

“True,” Pidge allowed. “So really just Kasumi.”

Keith shrugged. “Made for some interesting plots.”

“Favorite arc?”

“Mm… the one with Herb,” Keith said. “You?”

“Pantyhose,” she said, grinning again when he snorted. “Especially with the goddess.”

“Okay, have you read her other stuff?”

“Yes to Inuyasha, kinda gave up on the one with aliens—”

“Urusei Yatsura.”

“—right, that, and I never tried the others. I’m guessing you’re into them?”

Keith shrugged. “My mom said I needed a hobby other than fighting when I was younger, and cartography was very… niche for a kid my age, so my sister talked me into trying manga. She had the first few volumes of Inuyasha, so…”

“Cartography?” Pidge asked despite herself.

Keith shrugged. “I broke my leg dirt-biking and had to pick up some hobbies that I could do sitting down.”

“It didn’t exclude fighting?”

“I… will admit that my sister had to bail me out of more fights than usual,” Keith said.

Pidge had to clap a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing loud enough to bother the rest of the café.

Keith didn’t see upset by this, even smiling at her reaction.

“Hey, Kogane,” one of the baristas said, swanning up to them with two cups. “I see you’ve met Katie.”

Pidge wrinkled her nose. “Do I… know you?”

The girl set the cups down and then tucked the tray under her arm. “Does the name Nyma ring a bell?”

“…_oh,_ you’re one of Matt’s anarchy club friends.”

The barista grinned and tossed a set of thick blonde box braids over her shoulder. “That I am.”

“Matt?” Keith asked, looking a little lost.

“My older brother,” Pidge said. “Um, and you two…?”

“Keith actually works here,” Nyma said, grinning. “Which is why I’m giving you those on the house.”

“Uh…” Pidge looked down at the drink. “Thanks? What is it?”

“Cinnamon Apple Cider,” Nyma said. “Your usual afternoon drink.”

Pidge blinked at her. “How…”

“I’ve been doing this job for five years,” Nyma said flatly. “And you’ve been a regular for three months. It’s a skill.”

“Nyma,” Keith muttered. “Don’t you have something to be doing?”

She smiled indulgently at him. “Sure I do, kid.”

“You are _three years_ older than me,” Keith groused.

Nyma laughed at him and turned away, waving at them over her shoulder. “Have a nice talk!”

Keith groaned and put his face in his hands.

“So…” Pidge said. “Barista?”

He shrugged, not looking at her. “It’s a way to make money.”

“Fair enough,” Pidge said, taking a sip of her drink. She trailed off, thinking, and then said, “So, if someone were to ask you out on a date, coffee would be a bad bet?”

Keith lifted his head to look at her in surprise. “Um, yeah?”

“So… what _would_ be a good idea?” Pidge asked.

“…there’s a car show with free entrance this weekend?” Keith hesitantly suggested. “I mean, um, if you’re interested in that kind of thing.”

“I’m a tech girl,” Pidge said, her grin widening. “More computers than engineering, but I can appreciate a nice engine.”

“…is this the part where I ask for your number?”

“I think it is.”

And that was how Pidge got herself a date.

o.o.o.o.o

Romelle squealed. She had her hands up by her chin and bounced in place and everything. There were almost stars in her eyes.

Acxa leaned away from her.

“You have a _date!”_

“Yes,” Keith said. He did not dodge when Romelle threw herself at him, just let out a small ‘ooph’ and steadied her with a grimace. “Romelle, please.”

“I’m gonna tell Krolia!” Romelle exclaimed, popping up and shaking excited fists so close to her chin that Keith was a little worried she was going to hit herself. She dashed off.

Keith looked at Acxa for support, and she snorted. “You know how she is.”

“Still.”

Acxa ruffled his hair. “It’s been a while since you’ve had a date, kid.”

“Don’t call me kid.”

“And,” Acxa continued, “It’s not like she can get excited about my dates, really, and she doesn’t really trust _herself_ to date, and getting excited about your parents having a date is odd… so. She’s excited about your date. It’s not like you have a lot of friends, or any significant romantic history.”

“I have friends!”

“You have Allura,” Acxa said flatly. “And Shiro. And beyond that?”

“Hunk?”

“Hunk’s friends with everyone.”

“…Lance?”

Acxa rolled her eyes. “Right. Friends. That’s why you threw him in the fountain last month.”

“I made sure he didn’t have any electronics on him!”

“That is—no, not the point,” Acxa shook her head. “Let Romelle be excited about this. _You _should be excited about this.”

“I _am_ excited about this,” Keith grumbled. “And stop pretending you’re not excited too, I can read you better than that.”

Acxa blinked at him.

Then she pounced and pulled him into a headlock.

“Acxa, what the hell?!”

“Stop being a brat,” she said, far more calmly than Keith’s wild flailing probably warranted.

The door opened and, though he couldn’t see her, Keith could hear Krolia talking. “Acxa, stop torturing your brother.”

“I’m not torturing him, mom,” Acxa said.

“Let him go, Acxa.”

Keith jumped away from Acxa as soon as she let him go. His hands went to his hair and he winced; that was going to be actively painful to brush out, with the tangles she’d caused.

“Keith,” Krolia said. “I hear you have a date this weekend.”

“Yeah,” Keith said. “I… guess Romelle told you?”

“She shouted it to the entire room,” Krolia confirmed.

“…and how many people were _in_ that room?”

Krolia smiled. “Just your father and I. He’s on his way up, but you know how slow the stairlift can be.”

“Yeah,” Keith said.

Krolia put her hands on his shoulders and narrowed her eyes. “When’s the date?”

“Three hours.”

“What do you have planned?” Krolia asked.

“Car show. She’s interested in technology, said she’d be interested in the engines.”

“Do you have your outfit planned?”

“I was going to ask Acxa to help.”

Krolia raised an eyebrow. “Keith, you’re going to need all the help you can get.”

He stepped away, wrinkling his nose. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Tex said, rolling into the room, Romelle just a few steps behind him, “That you’ve got the entire family here to micromanage your love life, son.”

Keith felt his stomach sinking, something that wasn’t helped by Acxa clapping a hand on his shoulder and leaning in to whisper. “Can’t fail with all of us here, right?”

“…right.”

Romelle squealed and threw herself at him for a hug.

This, of course, was when Kosmo barreled into the room and jumped to topple them over.

Keith groaned. Romelle was excited. His parents were, understated or not, excited. Acxa was pretending not to be excited, but definitely excited.

Kosmo had no idea what was going on, but he was _definitely_ excited.

o.o.o.o.o

“No!” Shay shouted.

Her car fell off the track, and Keith’s raced past the finish line.

“Why must you always choose the Rainbow Road?” She asked.

Keith shrugged and sat back, grinning. “I’m good at it.”

Shay shook her head and leaned forward. “Again.”

Keith opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a shout from Hunk’s kitchen.

“Cupcakes are done!”

Keith vaulted over the back of the couch and headed for the counter, Shay following more sedately behind.

“Okay so they _should_ be fully cool inside by now, too,” Hunk said. “The frosting didn’t melt, so it’s at least going to be cool enough to eat since the outside isn’t causing problems.”

“Do we get to know what they are?” Keith asked.

“Nope,” Hunk said. “There are three different kinds here, differentiated by the paper color. Try each one, tell me what you think, and I’ll tell you afterwards what each one was. I’m going to leave the room so you can’t change what you say based on my reactions.”

Keith shared a look with Shay, and then shrugged. “Okay.”

It took a good five minutes to try a bite of each and write down what they thought. They studiously ignored each other.

“Okay,” Hunk said, once he’d been called back in. “Okay, let me read what you wrote first, and… right. Keith, you said the ones in the blue paper were dry?”

“A little?” Keith said. “It’s definitely drier than the other two, and I think it’s drier than the ones you usually make.”

“Gotcha,” Hunk said. “The red was… you just wrote ‘weird.’”

Keith made a face. “I mean. It kind of tastes like vegetables? I can’t tell if it’s in a good way or in a bad way, it just does.”

“That’s… a little weird,” Hunk muttered. “Shay, the green is… oh.”

“I do not like coconut very much,” Shay said. “And I could taste it in the green.”

“Okay,” Hunk said. “That’s… okay.”

“Do we get to know now?” Keith asked, propping his chin up on his hands and grabbing another of the red. He still couldn’t tell if he liked it or not, but he didn’t hate it enough to stop eating.

“Yeah,” Hunk said. “So Lance and I were doing this volunteer project at the aquarium a few summers ago, and there was this girl named Plaxum that he really hit it off with? They dated for a bit and then broke up because it just wasn’t going anywhere, but they’re still really good friends. I think she’s majoring in marine biology and she’s… _ridiculously_ invested in environmentalist reform and stuff, she’s the kind of person that does marches and tries to figure out how to make machines that pick up plastic bags in the ocean.”

“She seems nice,” Shay offered.

“She is!” Hunk agreed. “Really intense and kind of aggressive sometimes, though. Anyway, her birthday’s coming up and her friend Swirn asked if I’d make some cupcakes for it, and I agreed, but Plaxum has coeliac disease, so I need to figure out a gluten-free recipe.”

“Which ones did you try here?”

Hunk pointed at the sets of cupcakes in turn. “Blue was rice flour, red was oat flower, green was coconut.”

“What else have you tried?” Shay asked.

“Chickpea, buckwheat, and almond,” Hunk said. “I’m thinking maybe combine the rice and buckwheat? We’ll see. I have another week.”

Keith nodded and snagged a coconut flower cupcake. “Well, they’re definitely all still edible? So you didn’t fail, just didn’t succeed the way you wanted.”

“You’ve been visiting Shiro?” Hunk guessed.

Keith shrugged, looking uncomfortably to the side. “That obvious?”

“Kinda,” Hunk said. “How is he?”

“I thought you spoke with him often?” Shay said.

“We text, but I haven’t seen him in person in a while,” Hunk admitted. “And Keith knows him better than I do.”

“He’s doing good,” Keith said. “Still disgustingly in love with Adam, still kinda dating Matt and… honestly I’m still not asking too many questions about Ryou’s love life.”

“I don’t ask question either,” Hunk said. “I still get answers, though. I didn’t ask for answers but I got them.”

Keith blinked. “Do I want to—”

“No,” Hunk said. “People tell me everything. I don’t know why.”

“You have one of those faces,” Shay told him. “Like a person can trust you with anything.”

Hunk sagged against the counter and groaned. “Lucky me.”

Keith snorted.

He took another bite of his latest cupcake.

He waited until Hunk had lifted his head.

“…so I have a date this weekend.”

Hunk choked.

He did not, in fact, do a spit take or choke on a bite of something. He appeared to choke on thin air, or possibly saliva.

Keith waited politely for him to stop coughing as Shay patted his back.

“Okay,” Hunk finally said. “You _what?”_

“I have a date,” Keith said. “This weekend. My family’s going nuts about it and I don’t know how to handle that.”

“When’s the last time you had a date?” Hunk asked.

Keith shrugged. “Six months ago? And it was just one.”

“Yeah, okay,” Hunk said. “I can see that. So…”

Keith waited again. “So?”

“I’m trying to decide if I want to be excited for you or if it’s going to backfire in my face.”

Shay giggled.

“My instinct is to be excited,” Hunk said. “But what if it ends up with me listening to your gushing like with Lance or Ryou or Matt?”

“…why do so many people gush to you?” Keith asked.

“I just have one of those faces,” Hunk said, his voice as flat as the desert Keith had grown up in.

Keith paused. “Okay, fair.”

“Where are you going?” Shay asked.

“Car show,” Keith said. “I mentioned it and she said she likes technology and would like a look at the engines, so… that’s happening.”

“What is her name?” Shay prodded.

“…Katie,” Keith said. “I met her at the café after work, and she recognized my Ukyo keychain, so we got to talking.”

“Did you _forget _your date’s name?” Hunk demanded. “Dude.”

“No!”

“You paused!”

“Because she introduced herself with a nickname first!” Keith said. “And she said the nickname was pretty recognizable and her brother was bound to find out before she wanted him to if I mentioned it anyone, _including Shiro_, so I haven’t been able to tell _him…”_

Hunk tilted his head. “Wait. Why is Shiro off-limits to tell but I’m not?”

“…the girl I met may or may not be Matt’s little sister,” Keith admitted.

Hunk stared at him.

“Listen,” Keith said.

“Dude.”

“I know, but—”

_“Dude.”_

“Hunk, I—”

_“Dude, even your mom can’t protect you if Matt decides you’re not good enough for Pidge,”_ Hunk whispered.

“She asked _me_ out!” Keith protested.

“Dude!”


	5. For Every Action... Everyone HAS a Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People Find Out about Kidge doing their thing. They are less bothered than is perhaps expected.

“Stop hogging the pizza,” Ryou demanded.

“Ask nicely,” Acxa told him.

“Gimme,” he said, reaching for it. Acxa held it out of his reach, so Ryou detached his arm and attempted to knock the pizza out of her grasp. She leaned further off the couch, balancing precariously on the arm and trying not to fall off and land on Kova.

“Why am I dating you, again?” Lotor asked, sweeping through to pluck the pizza box out of Acxa’s hands and glare at Ryou.

“Because I’m charming as sin,” Ryou answered promptly. “And you like my ass.”

“The nice ass doesn’t make up for the obnoxious personality,” Acxa informed him.

_“You_ like my ass too,” Ryou sniffed.

“I’ll stick to Narti,” Acxa said, voice cool.

Lotor rolled his eyes and took a slice of pizza out of the box and handed it to Ryou. “Why do you keep antagonizing her?”

“Cute when she’s annoyed,” Ryou said. “And hot when she’s scary, but that’s inadvisable.”

“I’ll show you inadvisable,” Acxa muttered. Soft footsteps and a quiet meow heralded Narti’s arrival, and Acxa shifted, kicking Ryou’s legs off the couch with only minimal complaint from the man himself and taking the middle spot for herself. “Near spot’s open.”

Narti nodded and sat down, immediately tucking her legs under herself and leaning into Acxa’s side. Her fingers flashed, small movements that Acxa had a little trouble deciphering from her angle.

“We’ve still got some pepperoni left,” Lotor answered instead. “Or plain, if you’d prefer.”

Narti signed, “Pepperoni,” and Lotor leaned out of the armchair he’d taken up to pass a slice to Ryou, who passed it to Narti.

“We’re doing Great British Bake-Off,” Acxa said. “You said that one’s fine without audio description, right?”

Narti nodded, and signed, “If you’ll describe it if something interesting happens when the dialogue isn’t enough, I’m good.”

“Awesome,” Ryou said. “Lotor, babe, you good? You wanna join us on the couch or something?”

“No,” Lotor said. He pointed at his lap. “I’ve been informed that once Kova is sitting on me, it’s illegal to move him or myself.”

“You’re a sarcastic little shit, you know that?” Ryou asked.

“He’s the tallest one here,” Acxa pointed out.

“Not the point,” Ryou dismissed, and then screamed and jolted when Acxa poked him in the ribs. “Dude!”

“Don’t call me dude.”

“You know how ticklish I am, come on!”

Acxa rolled her eyes and pulled Ryou’s arm over her shoulders. “You’re the worst.”

“You’re the one that’s dating me.”

“Only because you and Lotor are a package deal,” Acxa sniffed.

“If that were actually the case, we’d both be dating Narti, too,” Ryou said. “And yet.”

Narti leaned past Acxa and signed, “I’m still part of the poly. I’m just too gay for you.”

Ryou squinted at Narti’s hands, and then looked to Acxa, “I missed a few of those.”

Acxa resisted the urge to suggest he practice more, as she’d told Lotor when he’d first started learning ASL for Narti’s sake. Acxa had started learning as a child from Krolia; the number of family friends who’d gone deaf due to bombs had meant Krolia knew ASL before she’d ever considered having children, and Keith’s frequent nonverbal phases as a child had solidified it as something that anyone coming into the family had to know. Lotor didn’t have Acxa’s head start, but he was clever and had, with badgering, practiced with Acxa in their off time, letting her critique how he signed as well as challenging him to read hers at higher and higher speeds.

Ryou had started learning just a year ago, and any background he’d had in military signing hadn’t carried over enough to help.

“She said that despite being a giant lesbian, she’s still part of the group relationship,” Acxa said. “She’s just too gay for _you.”_

“Oh,” Ryou said. “That’s fair. Still doesn’t negate the package deal comp—hey, hey, no!”

He tried valiantly to defend himself from the pillow Acxa was attempting to brain him with. He failed.

“So!” Lotor said, loud enough to catch their attention. “Who wants to hear about the classroom romance I’ve been playing audience to?”

Ryou finally ripped the pillow from Acxa’s hands and stuffed it behind himself. “Dish.”

“They were waiting for one of the elements of their project to melt,” Lotor said. “One of their partners was double-checking their calculations and the other was watching the thermometer.”

“Busy,” Ryou said. “What did the lovebirds do?”

_“She_ was using the downtime to catch up on some homework for another class,” Lotor said. “Meanwhile, _he_ used the time to make a little flower out of electrical tape and gave it to her.”

“…that is the _cutest_ fucking shit,” Ryou declared.

Narti signed her agreement.

Lotor grinned. “I’m aware. She blushed. I have no idea how they haven’t asked each other out yet.”

“Shy?” Acxa suggested.

Lotor shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s possible, or they’re both still recovering from bad breakups and trying not to get hurt again.”

“Drama!” Ryou gasped dramatically, leaning away from Lotor with a hand on his chest. He yelped when Acxa yanked on his ponytail. “Hey!”

“You’re crushing me,” She informed him.

“You could have just _said_ that,” he grumbled. “Save the hair-pulling for bed.”

“Horndog,” Acxa muttered. “In any case, I have some tangentially related news myself.”

“Oh?” Lotor prompted.

“Keith,” Acxa said, pausing for a moment to build up the drama, “Has a _date_ this weekend.”

Ryou shot up straight. “Bullshit!”

“Nope, it’s true.”

“He didn’t tell me!” Ryou protested. “Or Shiro, even!”

“Probably didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to tell one twin and not the other,” Acxa said, “And he didn’t want to tell Shiro because he didn’t want Matt finding out.”

“…why?” Lotor asked carefully.

“Because Keith’s date is Katie Holt,” Acxa said. “Matt’s little sister. And if Matt finds out and disapproves, I’m going to have to save Keith’s ass again.”

“The way you’ve been doing since you were twelve,” Lotor noted.

“Okay, so I’m not saying you wouldn’t win against Matt in a fight,” Ryou said. “But his main line of attack would be digital.”

“Then I’ll give him a wedgie,” Acxa dismissed. “I’m not scared of _Matt Holt,_ Ryou. I’ve heard enough of your stories.”

“You _should_ be,” Ryou said. “He can ruin you, and then he’ll be _nice_ about it, if you were only kind of annoying instead of, like, a completely terrible person.”

“I have Ezor,” Acxa pointed out.

“Matt’s got Shiro,” Ryou retorted.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and then burst into motion. Lotor sighed and moved the side table before their wrestling knocked it over.

In the ensuing pandemonium, neither Acxa nor Ryou noticed Narti stealing the last of the pizza.

o.o.o.o.o

_“Pidge has a date!”_

Shiro dropped the bowl on his foot and swore.

“Hi, Matt,” Adam said calmly, not looking up from his book on the couch. “We’ve had a nice day too.”

“My day is now significantly less nice,” Shiro grumbled. He picked up the bowl, gratified to find that none of the minced meat had splattered out. It was nice to know that hamburgers stuck together.

“Sorry,” Matt said, not sounding sorry in the slightest. He hopped the couch, managing a flip and landing ass-first in the armchair. “But my little sister has a _date.”_

“That’s nice,” Adam said. “Please don’t do a terrifyingly thorough background check on this one.”

“I don’t have to,” Matt said. “Because it’s Keith.”

Shiro looked over, frowning. “Wait, my Keith?”

“Yes,” Matt said. “Your Keith. The one you took cliff-diving when he was sixteen.”

“Not your greatest moment,” Adam said.

“I don’t need to take this,” Shiro said. “I can just leave.”

“You won’t, it’s your apartment,” Matt said. “Anyway—hold on, let me just—Adam?”

“I’m not lifting you to the cubby hole.”

Matt pouted as he got up from the armchair and turned around. He sprinted at the wall, jumping to rebound off of it and up to the cubby hole.

The cubby hole was not, in fact, a cubby hole. It was the top of several armoires that they’d bought from IKEA when they’d first gotten the apartment, back when it was just the twins and Adam, and Matt hadn’t really fallen into Shiro and Adam’s orbit as more than a friend yet. Matt had, after several months of repeatedly spending the night on the couch, decided that his preferred sleeping place was going to be on top of the armoires. The fact that there was enough room was baffling. The fact that he actually _liked_ sleeping there was even stranger. By this point, they’d all just given up and let him keep a blanket, snacks, and an extension cord up there, so long as he cleaned up after himself.

Adam ignored the fact that there was anything strange about this because he figured it would only encourage Matt to keep doing weird shit. Shiro despaired.

Ryou was an enabler, and was kept away from Matt whenever possible.

“You’re really lucky that wall is reinforced,” Shiro muttered. “Fine, so your little sister is dating Keith. Is this a good thing?”

“If it means she’s finally moving on from her roommate?” Matt snorted. “Trust me, it’s a good thing.”

“I don’t know how I feel about her using him as a rebound,” Shiro pointed out.

“She wouldn’t have asked him out if she wasn’t interested,” Matt dismissed. “Trust me, Nyma already gave me the rundown.”

Adam hummed in consideration. “Was this before or after you two tried to drain Ladnok’s bank accounts three nights ago?”

Shiro carefully laid his knife on the chopping board, halfway through slicing the scallions.

“…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matt said.

“I thought you’d stopped going after the mob,” Shiro said. “Three weeks, you said.”

“It’s… it’s been six, Shiro,” Matt said. Suddenly, _he_ was the one that sounded concerned. “We agreed on three weeks to lay low, but that was a month and a half ago.”

Was it?

“It was,” Adam said. Shiro couldn’t see if he’d looked over or not.

Shiro started cutting the scallions again.

“And besides, we backed out before we were detected,” Matt said. “They had better defenses than we thought, so we gave up before they caught us. No damage, no worries.”

Right. Matt was good at this kind of thing. That was why he did it. Nyma had his back, too, so that was fine.

“I’m thinking Pidge is _probably_ going to keep me updated on what’s going on,” Matt said. “I don’t know if Keith knows that she told me about the date?”

“He didn’t tell _me,”_ Shiro said. He wasn’t upset by that. He _wasn’t._ A little confused, but not upset. Keith was growing into his independence, and Shiro was trying to encourage that whenever he could.

“Poke him about it _after_ the date,” Adam suggested. “Asking now might just make him nervous, if he’s scared of Matt.”

“Why would he be scared of me?” Matt asked. “I’m like a lanky teddy bear. I’m a noodle person.”

Shiro leveled him with a flat stare. “You steal from the mob.”

“You could ruin his credit score in an afternoon,” Adam added mildly.

“You’re both terrible,” Matt sniffed. He turned to face the wall. “I’m going to bed.”

“It’s not a bed,” Shiro told him.

“Don’t fall,” Adam said. “You’ll break your neck from that height.”

“I’m going to _bed_ and you can’t stop me!”

o.o.o.o.o

“I promise it’s not that spicy,” Keith said.

Pidge eyed him, and then her food. “Different people have different tolerances. My roommate sometimes says he can’t taste anything spicy at all, and then when I try it, my mouth begs for a mercy killing.”

“…your mouth is where your words come from,” Keith said, considering. “So it’s you that’s begging for—”

“Shut _up,”_ Pidge groaned, shoving his shoulder. “Oh my god, you’re awful.”

“Just give it a try?” Keith said. “I will get you as much milk as you need, afterwards.”

“If I hate it, you owe me.”

“If you hate it, I’ll pay for your ticket to the next big superhero movie.”

Pidge glared at him, and then spitefully took a bite of the pizza he was holding out to her.

She choked after about three seconds of chewing and grabbed for the sugar bowl.

“I’ll go get some milk,” Keith said.

Pidge gagged more. It wasn’t that spicy, probably, but it was a lot to _her, _and she did not enjoy it.

A milk box landed on the table in front of her, and she grabbed it without hesitation.

“Who—”

“There’s a Starbucks over there,” Keith explained. “This was the fastest option.”

“Wouldn’t there be a line?”

“Not at this show,” Keith said. “Maybe if it was, like, the New York International Auto Show? But that lasts ten days, and it’s been going on since 1900. This is way smaller.”

“You go to these a lot, then?” Pidge prompted.

“Heh,” Keith said. “Yeah, it’s… I’ve been driving since I was twelve, maybe. Learned stunts young. Built my own motorcycle, actually.”

“Yeah?” Pidge prompted. “What kind of engine?”

Keith’s eyes lit up. “Well—”

o.o.o.o.o

Pidge pushed her way through the halls, gritting her teeth and trying not to lash out at the larger students around her. She couldn’t see a _thing_ over their heads, but it was going to take at least another twenty seconds to get out of the mass by the stairs and into one of the hallways that actually led to classrooms and labs.

She finally pulled through and into the open space outside of Lance’s lab room. Students were already filing out, but Lance wasn’t among them. She swore under her breath and dug her phone out, hoping she hadn’t already missed him. She scrolled through her contacts, looking for his name, when she suddenly heard him saying something from inside the room. She looked up, and the door to the room was clear, so she started walking towards it. She dropped her gaze to put her phone away, and looked up just in time to walk glasses-first into someone’s chest.

Her first thought was ‘soft.’

Her second thought was ‘oh god I just ran into some poor girl’s boobs.’

Her third thought was ‘fuck fuck fuck please don’t let this turn into a transphobic nightmare.’

Pidge stumbled back, arms pinwheeling. She was sure her face was bright red.

“Oh my god,” Lance’s voice whispered from somewhere Pidge didn’t bother to check out.

“Oh shit, I am _so sorry!”_ Pidge squeaked. She took another step back, putting as much respectful distance as she could between herself and then _unfairly gorgeous_ woman she’d run into. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and I totally just—_fuck.”_

She gave up trying to explain herself and just shoved her face into her hands and made a noise like she was dying, which she kind of was.

“It’s, er, quite alright,” the woman assured. British accent? Sounded like it. “These things happen. I’m sure you didn’t intend to do that. You can—you can stop screaming into your hands.”

“Pidge,” Lance said again. “Oh my god, girl. This is why you need to pay attention to where you’re going.”

“Shut _up,_ Lance,” she snapped.

“I mean really,” he continued, completely ignoring her. “What if you walk off a bridge again?”

“Again?” Beautiful Lady asked.

“We are _not_ telling that sto—”

“We went to a park last summer and she was trying to selfie vlog it to her brother and walked off one of those tiny garden bridges and fell into the creek.”

“I’m going to flush all your skincare products down the drain,” Pidge threatened.

“I’ll tell Matt that you’re bullying his favorite saltmate and then he’ll kidnap you to your parents’ house and make you sit through a lecture on respecting other people’s property,” Lance said, his grin far too wide for Pidge’s comfort.

“You can’t use my brother against me!”

“Just did.”

“Ahem,” the Beautiful Lady coughed delicately into her fist. “This is… Pidge, then?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Lance said. “Got a little carried away there. She’s the roommate I was telling you about.”

“Well then,” she said, and held a hand out to Pidge. “It’s very nice to meet you, Pidge. Katie? I’m not sure if the nickname is a friends-and-family thing or…”

“Pidge is fine.” Her heart started slowing down, and she belatedly realized what Lance just did for her. “You’re… oh my god, you’re _Allura_, aren’t you?”

Lance squeaked in mortification when Allura turned to stare at him with wide eyes.

She turned back to Pidge. “The way you said that has me concerned. What did he tell you about me?”

“Oh, _plenty,” _Pidge said, with a nasty grin towards Lance. Embarrass her, and she’d do it right back. “Wouldn’t stop going off about how one of his teammates was smart, beautiful, _and_ a badass, with a cute accent to boot. I’ve actually been hoping to meet you for a while.”

“Just not like that?” Allura prompted.

Pidge scrunched up her face as her cheeks went red. “Um, well, I mean… yeah.”

Lance was about to pop back in, probably with a shot of his own, but a deeper voice with an accent much like Allura’s interrupted him. “If you could all move this conversation _out_ of the doorway?”

“Shit!” Lance yelped. “I mean, uh, shoot? I—”

“Sorry, Lotor,” Allura said, putting a hand over Lance’s mouth and pulling them both over to the wall. Pidge almost swore out loud as she realized that it was Lotor Daibazaal. She knew him, if only distantly, through Matt and the twins, but—holy shit, she’d _read_ his papers on theoretical physics and quantum m—

“And they’re right,” Lotor said, with a glance to Pidge and an odd smile playing on his lips. “You really should pay attention to where you’re going. Not everyone is going to forgive you as easily as Allura did for running into them in the manner you did.”

“You _saw_ that?” Allura demanded, sounding more than a little flustered.

He didn’t answer, just smiled at her and walked away, hair fluttering behind him like a banner.

“…so,” Lance said. “You wanna go ahead to that study date at the library or just have all three of us keep wallowing in shame about what happened being in front of the TA?”

“Study date,” Pidge said faintly.

_Fuck._

Lance led them towards the stairs, and Pidge jogged to catch up once she realized what was going on.

“So, you’re a freshman?” Allura prompted.

“Sophomore,” Pidge corrected. “I’m two years younger than that jerk, but I skipped a year.”

“Would’ve been more, but her parents didn’t want her losing out on human connections and stuff,” Lance tossed in.

“How long have you two known each other, again?” Allura asked.

“Uh…” Pidge scrunched up her brow. “I think I was… thirteen?”

“Since middle school,” Lance confirmed. “We got put together on a group project one year and just started hanging out way too much.”

“Lance kept calling me pipsqueak.”

“I _still_ call you pipsqueak,” Lance said. “Anyway, we’ve known each other forever and Pidge is basically a pint-sized genius, so she’s helping me out with some classes.”

“I see,” Allura said. “Might I be able to join you?”

Lance looked at her with a furrowed brow. “You got the highest scores in the class on the last exam. You don’t need tutoring the way I do.”

Pidge saw the way Allura’s face froze and started to fall before she mustered it back up into a smile, and decided to step in before Lance could manage to mess up his own love life any further.

“Yeah, I think we could _totally_ use your help,” Pidge said, before Allura could say a thing. “I don’t have all the time in the world, and you definitely know more about what’s going on in Lance’s classes than I do, since you’re in them.”

“Hey! I’m not _that_ bad!” Lance protested.

“I’d love to,” Allura said, with a smile that made a valiant effort at being kind and fond and neutral, but did nothing to hide how much she wanted to laugh at them both.

Belatedly, Pidge realized what Lance had said about Allura getting the top score in the class.

No way could this girl be smart _and_ pretty _and_ have a cute accent _and_ be as _nice_ and as good at martial arts as Lance had said she was.

But Pidge trusted Lance’s judgement, which meant that Allura was definitely all these things, which meant that Pidge couldn’t even be jealous of Allura for getting Lance’s romantic attention, because she was too busy being jealous of Lance for having _Allura’s_ attention, whether he realized it or not.

Ugh, _why_.

o.o.o.o.o

“Hey.”

Lance didn’t look away from his screen as he grunted an affirmation that he’d heard her.

“Hey, nerd, I gotta tell you something.”

Lance still didn’t look away from the screen.

“Lance!”

He hit the pause button and looked up, meeting Pidge’s exasperated glare.

“I’m in the middle of a really cool fight scene,” he told her. “This better be important.”

“I went on a date,” Pidge said.

“I knew that,” Lance said, a little more patiently than he felt.

“I think you need to know _who_ that date was,” Pidge said. “Because it’s going to be awkward as hell if I _don’t_ tell you.”

Lance leaned back and away from her. “That’s a worrying comment.”

She rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to tell you before I forgot and entered the point of no return, where telling you would be worse than not.”

“Alright, let’s hear it,” Lance sighed. “I want to get back to Castlevania.”

“It’s Keith.”

Lance considered this for a moment, with the kind of milk irritation and grudging fondness he reserved for the name.

“Like, ‘My Eternal Rival’ Keith?” Lance asked.

“That’s the one.”

Lance considered it a moment more.

“That’s weird,” he declared. “If he hurts you, I’m going to probably just tell Matt since he can destroy a person better than I ever could. I’m going back to Castlevania now.”

“Word.”

o.o.o.o.o

“What are you—what?” Hunk asked. “What are you _doing?”_

Lance and Pidge looked at each other, and then back at him.

“I don’t see what you mean,” Pidge said.

Hunk buried his face in his hands and looked a little like he wanted to scream. He didn’t scream, but he did take a deep and tired breath. “Why are all my friends doing weird tangled relationships? Why is everyone dating everyone else?”

“The world’s a small place?” Lance offered.

“I wish it wasn’t,” Hunk groused. “I can’t keep doing this forever.”

“Doing what?” Pidge asked.

“Knowing everyone’s deepest secrets. It’s a lot of work.”

“I mean, they’re not exactly secrets,” Lance said. “Everyone knows Keith and Katie are dating, and we already handled the one bump of the epic rivalry. No more secrets there.”

“But I have to know how it runs into all the other secrets, Lance,” Hunk explained. “And there are _so many secrets.”_

“Do you… want us to stop coming to you for a bit and give you some space?” Pidge asked. “We can do that.”

“Hell no, I want to know _everything,”_ Hunk snapped, slapping his hands onto the countertop and leaning forward to glare at them. “If you’re all going to insist on bad or weird decisions, I want to be informed of them.”

“…you sure, buddy?”

“Yes, Lance. Now walk me through how Pidge started dating your rival, who is apparently working at a coffee shop with one of Matt’s anarchy friends, and connected to like _five other people_ I know besides, but still somehow met Pidge through a coincidence instead of through a person.”

“Are you sure?” Lance asked again.

“I am. Now dish.”


End file.
